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by Free Speech on August 18, 2010

Lodi, WI~

Lodi Valley News serving Lodi, WI & the Lake Wisconsin area with local information since Earth Day 2008.

by Slim Randles

“Dud,” said Doc, “you’re a guy with a scientific mind. I need you to do something for me.”

Dud swelled with pride to be hearing this from his hero, Doc.

“You know I try real hard to be scientific, Doc. Whatever you need, I’ll do it.”

“Dudley, I want you to become the richest man in the world, and I know just how you can do it.”

This had attracted the attention of all the rest of us at the philosophy counter at the Mule Barn truck stop, of course.

“Get rich?”

“The richest,” Doc said. “Wealth beyond your wildest dreams of avarice, my boy. You’d have to hire every one of us to help you spend it. I mean … rich!”

“How do I do it, Doc.”

“Invent a waiting machine.”

“A waiting machine?”

“Sure. What does a guy do more of than anything else in his life?”

“Work.”

“Nope.”

“Sleep.”

“Nope. Truth is, he spends most of his adult life waiting for a woman. If a man spent half as much time fishing as he spends waiting for his wife to do something or buy something or try on something or return from the restroom, we’d all live to be 150 years old and die with grins on our faces.”

“But a waiting machine?”

“Exactly, Dud. Invent something small that a man can carry with him that will keep him busy doing something relaxing and fun while he waits for his wife. I guarantee you riches beyond your dreams.”

Dud sat quietly for a minute, basking in promised wealth.

“I’ve got it! A wristwatch!”

“We have wristwatches,” said Bert.

“Not,” said Dud, “that you can watch a football game on.”

“True,” said Doc. “I like the way you think.”

“Maybe you can have a selection of channels on it,” Steve said. “If you don’t like football, you can tune in rodeo.”

“Or the Miss America Pageant,” chimed in Bert.

From such innocent conversations by members of the world dilemma think tank at the Mule Barn come the great inventions of the world.

You’re welcome.

———-

Sponsored by: www.pearsonranch.com. Farm direct, delicious, California navel & Valencia oranges.

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